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There's A Book

Boys Lie: How Not to Get Played by Belisa Vranich, Psy.D. and Holly Eagleson

Published by HCI Teens

Pages: 264

Publishers Summary: So consider this book the ultimate BS detector. In today’s hookups without-heart society, this brutally honest guide reveals the most common lies boys tell and the truths behind them so you and your friends can separate the good guys from the bad.

‘Everyone else is doing it.’ ‘I won’t show anyone these pictures.’ ‘If we get pregnant, we could take care of it on our own.’ Lies like these get lots of girls in trouble, especially when they cast aside their doubts and make poor choices in the heat of the moment. Written by psychologist Belisa Vranich and former Seventeen magazine editor Holly Eagleson, this provocative book sets the record straight with a ‘cheat sheet’ on what guys lie about, why they lie, and how you can respond. By learning how to react before embarrassing or volatile situations arise, you will be more confident and more likely to enjoy healthier, honest, and more fulfilling relationships.

We live in a media driven world, one in which information is based on an instant-gratification system of technology, where myths and lies run rampant. Especially for teens, whose life experience hasn’t yet taught them the varying ways in which they can be manipulated this can be potentially damaging. Fortunately for parents raising teens there are a lot of resources available to use when trying to help your son or daughter make the right choices and show them there is honesty out there. That it’s possible to find fulfilling and meaningful relationships with others without compromising your personal values and standing up for what you want. With this premise I choose to review Boys Lie: How Not to Get Played. Unfortunately, for me I felt the book leaned a little to heavily on the “how-to’s” when it comes to the bedroom and not enough on the situations that happen long before you get to that point.

As a teenager, particularly, one that’s inexperienced with handling difficult relationships it can be difficult to speak up when it comes to their personal values. One of the things I did like about Boys Lie was that throughout the book the authors discussed ways to handle the “lies”. More of a “what to say if he says this to you” type of information. It was also nice that they mention making sure to practice what to say or do beforehand and what to do if you have in fact, already fallen for one of the “lies”. In the last third of the book the authors go into greater depth as to how to handle varying types of manipulation from all forms of abuse, sexual assault, drugs, as well as handling digital communication. All of these were things I was highly interested in and was the primary reason for picking up the book. Each was handled well and a great base for discussion between a parent and a child.

Unfortunately though, this book was way to focused on the “how-to’s” in the bedroom for it’s target audience, in my opinion. Yes, we live in a world that casual sexual relationships, even between teens, seem to be the norm, but I don’t feel that means you need to give them instructions. Close to two thirds of the book was focused on various “types” of intimate experiences and the explanations of what each one entailed. Again, in my personal opinion, a teenager does not need to be given an “instructional manual” in order to prevent the spread of disease and possible pregnancy. I should add that the authors also make a strong statement that they absolutely don’t promote an “abstinence only” agenda, which also adds to their opinions on most of the topics. Outside of the “too-much-information for a book for teens” problem that I had with the book I was also disappointed in both the demeaning way they spoke about boys and their overall tone. Yes, it’s supposed to be a book for teens, but the language was too “young” in quite a few passages.

Overall, this was a very informational read. Honestly, I can’t say I would recommend giving it to a teenager, but as a parent who is curious about how to approach certain subjects with their teenager it may be something to look into. As parents we do need to be informed and aware of everything our children face at any age. Hopefully the information we accumulate will only enhance our already open discussions with our children.

The1stdaughter Recommends: Ages 17 and older. Parents should definitely read the entire book before passing it along to a teenage daughter (or son for that matter).

For the Comments: Do you have teenagers? How do you feel about approaching them about “difficult” topics?

Want a second opinion? Please take a look at the other tour stops here:
Tuesday, July 6th:  Feminist Review
Thursday, July 8th:  Shooting Stars Mag
Monday, July 12th:  The Brain Lair
Tuesday, July 13th:  Book Junkie
Monday, July 19th:  Suko’s Notebook
Tuesday, July 20th:  Simply Stacie
Thursday, July 22nd:  There’s A Book
Monday, July 26th:  Write for a Reader
Wednesday, July 28th:  Lovely Undergrad
Monday, August 2nd:  La Femme Readers

This book was provided by TLC Book Tours in conjunction with the publisher for review.
Purchasing products by clicking through the links in this post will provide us a modest commission through our affiliate relationship with IndieBound.

3 Responses to Book Review: Boys Lie – How Not to Get Played by Belisa Vranich, Psy.D. and Holly Eagleson

  1. Lisa Munley says:

    My daughters are 11 and 12 (almost 13) and I’ll be honest, I have no idea how I’m going to approach these kinds of subjects. Up until now we haven’t talked in any great detail about sex and boy/girl stuff except for things like morals and values, dressing appropriately, expecting boys to be respectful, respecting yourself, etc. It’s just so different now from when we grew up, what with social media, texting, etc. We have talked about how anything you say online or in a text is not private. You wouldn’t believe how many kids say sexy stuff on FB or in texts and how things get around like wildfire. It’s crazy.

    Anyway!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the book and for being on the tour. We greatly appreciate it.

  2. Amused says:

    Oh man, when I read that title, I thought “I totally want to get this for my 15 year old cousin” but then I read your review. I agree completely, casual sex is not something that I would want to say is ok at ALL! However much media says so. Great review.

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