Performancing Metrics

There's A Book

Life, it’s a bit of a funny thing. It happens regardless of whether we take a deep breathe and soak in every second or allow it to rush by us in a whirlwind of dust leaving us haggard in it’s wake.

Now, for those of you stopping by There’s A Book for the first time or possibly expecting to find a book review or recommendation, never fear! This is only a moment I’m taking to simply press the pause button so-to-speak. The Turkeybird, Littlebug and I will be back to the usual book devouring as soon mom sends a few things out into the nothingness.

Believe it or not, I’ve been doing this book reviewing/blogging thing here at There’s A Book for three years come next month. I know, it’s shocking! It’s something I never expected to take hold so strongly in my life; this community, the authors, the bloggers, my new friends. There’s hardly a day that goes by that I don’t think of someone, and usually more than just one someone of course, that I’ve met through my experience here. I wonder about the expected: your reading, your blogs and in some cases what you’re writing. But in most cases it’s more than that, I think of real friends who have families and lives and hopes and expectations. It’s phenomenal and I love being surrounded by such greatness, because you are all incredible. Each of you inspire me to try harder and to be more than I was the day before and I’m grateful for that.

Tonight I read a post at Everyday Reading about Authenticity. It was a fantastic and honest post about a mom just being who she is and being happy with that. I bring it up because for the longest time I’ve wondered about how I do things here. I rarely take the time to just write a post like this and I don’t often do discussion posts. Not because I don’t want to, I just don’t feel it’s one of my strengths. I’d like to change that though. I’ve always been nothing but honest and overwhelmingly enthusiastic in what I have written here. Maybe to some it’s been too positive, but for the most part that’s just me. I’m generally a pretty positive person. So, in a moment, when I depart from the gooey positive stuff I hope my readers won’t head for the hills because I want to be truly authentic for a moment.

As most of you know, I’m a mom to two incredible kiddos. I mean that. Without a doubt my kiddos are incredible. Does that mean I don’t have days when I’m on my knees in tears at two in the afternoon? Does it not also mean that I have days when all I want to do is stay in bed with my three year old all day while we read books back and forth to each other? Or days when I drop my sweet Turkeybird off at school and still cry all the way home and then some? It’s all of that and more.

Over the past three weeks I’ve spent a lot of time questioning whoever it was that thought I was cut out for this mom-gig. I find I go through this from time to time, it comes in waves. Having a new kindergartner in the family no doubt brought on a lot of change, some of which was expected and other aspects, not so much. I’m going to be honest, I’m struggling fiercely with this adjustment. To let go, but not. On top of that our little Turkeybird (well, not so little anymore) is one stubborn guy and if he sets his mind to a certain train of thought in anyway, it’s done. And I’m not just talking about getting what he wants. From learning to rules to why things happen to and around him, once he sees things a certain way then that’s the way it is. Fortunately he has a pretty good teacher who works really really hard to make sure things are good for him in the class. Still, for me…to let go, but not.

To say I’m struggling out-loud takes a lot. I’m just not the kind of person to ask for help, I’d much prefer to be helping. In fact, this weekend I get to help a lot. I’m part of the Central Coast Writer’s Conference faculty and I get to have the opportunity to help in ways that fulfill a different part of my life. It’s wonderful. But because of the craziness of this week and my struggle to adjust with life I’m taking the rest of the weekend off here at the blog. I’ll be back on Monday and I’ll definitely be around on Twitter and commenting on blogs, but I need to clear my head a bit. I want to read. Read because I can and because it’s something that allows me to breathe. I want to chat with some very incredible friends (Amy, Pam, Judy, Carissa, Catherine and Anne) this weekend and enjoy life for a moment. To soak in a few seconds of greatness to recharge me for the future.

So, what about you? How are you? And what’s on your mind?

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20 Responses to Pressing the Pause Button for a Moment…

  1. Maria says:

    Oh goodness, I hear this. And I’m so sorry. Our blogs don’t include daily battles with children, or illnesses, or financial concerns, or struggles with school, or whatever the challenge may be. And that’s okay, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening, and isn’t very real. There’s a person behind every blog, and a whole, full, wonderful, messy life.

    Take the time you need, have a fantastic time at the conference (good luck!), and the blogging world will be here when you return 🙂

  2. Gina says:

    Oh, Danielle! *HUGS*
    Not your strong point, huh? Pfft! You did AWESOME in my book. Sharing a part of yourself is what the bloggy world is all about, to me anyway, and to be so real, so honest with your feelings, well my dear it just says “hey, I’m human too” and there’s NOTHING wrong with that. As for the “let go or not” moments, I’m certain it’s hard but it’s a part of the growing up process….you gotta let your little bird fly…not to worry, he TOTALLY still needs your support and love (and will always), but this baby step towards the real world is a must. Just think, it’s a chance for him to learn more and share all his wonderful parents have taught him. You should be PROUD mama bird….because I know all of us are of you.

    Enjoy the conference and the time off. NO worries….we’re not going anywhere. ^_^

  3. Raquel says:

    You absolutely deserve a good break. You’ve kept up this blog and the reviews so efficiently and thoroughly. But everyone needs a vacation. It’s good to step away and recalibrate and focus on yourself. 🙂

  4. Bravo sweetie. Sometimes you have to just stop, breathe, and vent. We love you. Take the time you need. I think we can all agree, you’re a super hero and even super heroes need a day off. 😉 <3 & *hugs*

  5. Amy says:

    I read Janssen’s authenticity post, too, and it has given me a lot to think about this week…WHY I do what I do. And I hear you on the adjustments…my oldest won’t be in kindergarten until next fall, and I’m already having a hard time with it!!

  6. Big hugs to you!!! Have a great time this weekend and hope you come back recharged. I’m so with you on the ups and downs of parenting two kids and getting one adjusted to kindergarten. You sound like a great mom with two wonderful, happy kids. Keep up the great work!

  7. julie says:

    Totally understand, breaks are good for body and mind. That sounds like great way, to rejuvenate. Good luck on your next phase. Hugs

  8. Yeah for a break! Come back refreshed and relaxed. And know that lots of us struggle with lots of things – you are not alone 🙂

  9. Wonderful Post Danielle! Your ‘voice’ is so strong and vibrant (not to mention your finely crafted word-smithing abilities), that it would be a joy to read more from you on any topic that moves you to write. ♥

  10. Amy Mak says:

    This is such a beautiful and whimsical site! I have four kids who all love to read so this is a fun site to come across. I think motherhood gets easier after you do it for awhile – just any job – you really do get the hang of it. My last just went to kindergarten this year and it was very hard…still is…but now I have to adjust back into the other world without kids around my feet. It’s strange the way everything comes full circle.

    Good luck!

  11. Beth Hoffman says:

    I applaud you for hitting that pause button, Danielle! I honestly don’t know how you manage to balance all that you do. Truly, you amaze me. Enjoy every moment of this pause and take a long and deep breath!

  12. Ivana says:

    I admire you for this post (since I’ve only just started following, I’m sure there’ll be much more to admire 🙂 )We definitely all have our struggles and it would be unrealistic to expect otherwise. You deserve that break and I hope you enjoy every second of it!

  13. Cathe Olson says:

    A hug from me too, Danielle. The mom-gig is HARD. It really is. There were many times I felt like running away and thinking how much easier it was just to worry about myself. But it’s just like any relationship. The hard times will make the bond stronger and the good times better . . . hang in there, sweetie.

    Looking forward to seeing you this weekend and will give you a hug in person.

  14. Kristen M. says:

    I’ve also hit the pause button (I love that description of it) on my blog while we go through our tough time. I think it’s very healthy to take a break. And isn’t it funny how sometimes we forget to just READ? 🙂 That’s one reason I’m really looking forward to Read-a-Thon!

  15. Hugs to you! I can only imagine how tough this post must have been to write, but rest assured that we all have our struggles. Enjoy your much-deserved time out. 🙂

  16. Meg Medina says:

    Rest with no guilt attached.

  17. Meg Medina says:

    Rest with no guilt attached!

  18. Kelly says:

    Many hugs to you, momma! My little man is only 14 months old, but I too have the days where I just wonder if I’m cut out for the Mom title. And then I have days where it couldn’t feel more perfect. I guess it’s just part of the job description…but I know it doesn’t always feel that way.

    I hope you enjoy your relaxation time!!

  19. From one mama to another… *HUGS*!!! 🙂

  20. V(Bookborne) says:

    I doubt there is a mother alive who doesn’t occasionally question the wisdom of the powers that decided to send her children. Sorry to hear that Turkeybird is having a rough adjustment to school. My nephew sounds like he’s a similar personality, and he’s been having a hard time as well. It’s tough to watch the struggles of a little person who you care so much about, to know how much to help and when to step back and let them figure it out for themselves. Hang in there! I’m sure you are doing an amazing job helping him on his way.

    I hope you enjoyed your weekend and had a chance to set your brain to a different channel for a little while 🙂

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